The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships (Toltec Wisdom Series)

by Miguel Ruiz Jr.

unconditional love is the key ingredient of healthy and happy relationships,

but when we place conditions on our love, it will eventually lead to suffering for ourselves and others.

You cannot change anyone else. You can only change yourself. There is no more difficult place to practice this inherent truth than in your most intimate relationships.

the fundamentals which all human beings require to be happy and healthy: honesty, contentment, self-acceptance, and self-love.

This commitment to yourself continues by releasing judgment in favor of compassion, letting go of feeling victimized in favor of being honestly vulnerable, and shifting your focus away from who you think others want you to be and toward finding out who you are now.

The first step to release yourself from the power of your judge is to take a step back, witness your judge's behavior, and have compassion for it rather than condemning it. When you create a little separation between yourself and that negative voice, you can begin to have deep compassion for how you have treated yourself. Instead of listening to the inner hatred, fear, and self-sabotage and accepting them as facts, notice them as judgments. Just noticing them is a step into a new way of being, one based in acceptance, support, and love.

We may not choose our circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.

While the “things” you want will always and forever be changing, the feelings you want to create in your life rarely change.