But the harshest judgment I felt was from me. If I loved Aaron, what was I doing falling in love with this guy? If I was still so bone-achingly sad about Aaron’s death, why was I so comforted by the feeling of Matthew’s hands on my bare skin? There is a difference between guilt and shame. Guilt says I did something bad and shame says I am bad. I had both, swirled together like a really awful twist cone. It was bad to fall in love with someone new, because I was still in love with Aaron. I was bad to fall in love with someone new, because it meant I couldn’t love Aaron.
