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A man cannot be good unless he possesses the capacity to be evil. Decency is a choice. It’s being tempted by hatred and following a different path no matter how difficult. It’s looking inward with a magnifying glass and acknowledging the flaws and weaknesses in one’s character.
It’s the terrible ache for revenge and choosing to let it go.
Fuck it all if I find that person. I’ll latch on so tightly she won’t stand a chance. I’ll move mountains. Stake my claim. Piss all over my territory. Rearrange my entire existence until we buckle together beneath the intensity.
We don’t just love. We love hard, with every bone, sinew, and breath in our bodies.
“How the fuck are you the sperm that won?”
“I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.”
I don’t negotiate. I’ll take what I want and give her what she needs, not what she thinks she needs. Then I’ll send her stubborn ass back to Chicago.
“Submit to a kiss.” He advances on me, forcing me to shuffle backward until my back hits the outside wall of the cowshed. “A kiss without resistance. If you’re not affected, I’ll drop it and tell you what you want to know.”
“You’re a mess.” He swipes a thumb across my cheek. “A beautiful mess.”
“This is the first time I’ve ever considered missing a day of work.” His hands lower from my face.
“You love it that much?”
He nods. “Not as much as I love the look ...
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I gave her one of my t-shirts to sleep in, and it swallows the little shorts she wears for modesty. Seeing her in my things today—my boots, my hat, my shirt… It stirs something indescribable inside me.
Reaching toward her face, I carefully sweep the soft curls away from her cheek. The simple touch comes with startling realization. I want to take care of her. It’s not just a desire. It’s instinct. Whether I’ve earned that right is negligible. She’s my responsibility. I don’t know what that means exactly, but it feels like I could run forever, search forever, and end up right back where I’m at. I’m destined for this, whatever this is.
“Stop gawking and get to work, cowboy.” Her lips hover a kiss away.
“I’m too tired to fight you.” I release her outside my door and amble to the bed. “I’m too tired to do anything but sleep. But I want you beside me.”
“I’ve never slept beside anyone.” I lift the covers in invitation. “Please.”
“Never?” Her eyebrows jump.
“Not ...
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“I’m the ...
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“The only...
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“I won’t do it, Maybe.” I clench a hand on the steering wheel. “I want more than your secrets. I want those, too, but I’m not going to take them. I want you to give them to me when you’re ready. I want to earn your trust.”
“Sex doesn’t earn trust. It destroys it.”
A sinking feeling hits my stomach. “W...
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She isn’t some gold-digging, narcissistic, faceless woman seducing her way into my bed. She’s everything I’ve been waiting for and nothing like I expected. I made a deal with her that I have no intention of honoring. Because I can’t fathom going back to a life without her. The notion is so bleak and horrifying it fills me with desperate rage. I will never let her go.
“I want children with you.”
“What?” My heart stops.
“You hear...
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“Children? Have you lost your mind?” I scramble out ...
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“I don’t mean right now.” He stands and tucks himself into his jeans. “I just… With you, I want marriage and kids and all of it. You’re it for me. Toda...
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“You belong to me.” He prowls closer. “I’ll piss a circle around you if I have to. I’ll move mountains and rearrange my entire existence. I’m not giving you up.”
“I know how your mind works. You’re brilliant and genuine. You’re passionate about what you believe in, and you’re not afraid to fight. I know your expressions, your smiles, the octaves of your laughter, the loneliness behind your frown. You store your soul in your eyes. You fidget with your hair when you’re nervous, let the ice melt in your soda before you drink it, and you hate to be alone. You’ve never had a one-night-stand.”
It’s cruelty in its most primitive form, love in its deepest, most passionate state. It’s animalistic mating, unbound and stripped bare, a connection that defies civility.
