As men, we have collectively failed women; we have failed ourselves by not interrogating a conception and a system of masculinity and power that violates the integrity of women’s lives, their desires, their self-understanding. Because I’m able to point this out, however, doesn’t provide me with clean hands. I don’t want to be coaxed into accepting a critical feminist approach to patriarchy by being told that I’m one of the “good ones.” My objective is not to propitiate women, but to take ownership of my sexism and my male privilege, even as it is complicated by race, and to make a difference
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