And Now We Have Everything: On Motherhood Before I Was Ready

by Meaghan O'Connell

Part of me loved this feeling of being steamrolled by life, of being totally fucked.

I thought we’d be equals.

To me, this was what a mother was: someone who was one step ahead of everyone, who had her finger on the pulse of the household, who came in with groceries just when you wondered where she was.

What’s neurosis and what’s maternal instinct?

I’ll know, soon, that just because something is hard and takes work and doesn’t come naturally doesn’t mean it isn’t worthwhile.

Was motherhood going to make everything in my life better, make me better, or was it going to ruin everything?

It did not occur to me that we could simply muddle through. Learn as we go. Change things later. Forgive ourselves.

What if, instead of worrying about scaring pregnant women, people told them the truth? What if pregnant women were treated like thinking adults? What if everyone worried less about giving women a bad impression of motherhood?