Hillary

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Some days I couldn’t tell whether I wanted marriage or not. Were the parts of me that resisted just trained to construct elaborate rationalizations for why I didn’t want this thing I might not get anyway? And weren’t the hesitations all some version of It might not work out? Sometimes it felt like I spent my whole life trying to tell the difference between fear and circumspection. I was always trying not to want things. I knew I could convince Dustin to get married; he had told me as much: “You wanting it makes me want it too.” But did I want it enough for both of us? Did I want to be married ...more
And Now We Have Everything: On Motherhood Before I Was Ready
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