We told one another we had till we were thirty-eight but privately thought thirty-five. If you wanted more than one kid—and who would dare to be so greedy—well, best to start at thirty-three. Just don’t share this out loud. Life math, years counted out on fingers across from one another in bars and diner booths in big cities across America, dictated that you needed a year or two of marriage before you had kids so you could “enjoy life as a married couple,” which felt as compulsory as it was made up. Pregnancy was ten months. Everyone said nine but we knew better. Our expertise on the subject
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