Big Sur

by Jack Kerouac

“Life is not an apology”—And

And as far as I can see the world is too old for us to talk about it with our new words—We

“When I leave town all my friends go back on the sauce”)—And

all agree it’s too big to keep up with, that we’re surrounded by life, that we’ll never understand it, so we center it all in by swigging Scotch from the bottle and when

I’m bursting to explain everything to him, not even Big Sur but the past several years, but there’s no chance with everybody yakking—And in fact I can see in Cody’s eyes that he can see in my own eyes the regret we both feel that recently we havent had chances to talk whatever, like we used to do driving across America and back in the old road days, too many people now want to talk to us and tell us their stories, we’ve been hemmed in and surrounded and outnumbered—The circle’s closed in on the old heroes of the night—But

Expecting to see a bitter ex con he sees instead a martyr of the American Night in goggles

“The pathway to wisdom lies through excess”)—But in this condition you can only say “Wisdom is just another way to make people sick”—“I’m

Milarepa says: “Though you youngsters of the new generation dwell in towns infested with deceitful fate, the link of truth still remains”—(and

The more Ups and Downs the more Joy I feel—The greater the fear, the greater the happiness I feel.

It always makes me proud to love the world somehow—Hate’s so easy compared—But here I go flattering myself helling headbent to the silliest hate I ever had.

How strange in all, and making everything that’s happened in the past weeks, the backs and forths and pains of me in City and Sur, all piled up now rationally like a big construction whereon could be built a divingboard which would enable me clumsily to dive into Billie’s soul and therefore why complain?

“I answer him because I may be missing his next question, everything he asks me and says to me represents something important about the absolute I may be missing”—“What

all have jail records yet they all talk as tho the end of the world depended on their words—Hard