The End Zone

by L.J. Shen

He slowed when he saw her, so she picked up the pace. Later in life, she’d learn that this was their special tango. One pulls, the other pushes. One wants, the other gives. One loves, the other hurts.

On the eighth night, the girl gave the boy her heart. He took it silently, never offering his back.

Sage Poirier. My best friend. Louisiana’s finest college quarterback. The man who put the ‘ho’ in manwhore.

it occurs to me, for the hundredth time since we moved in together freshman year of college, that if I hadn’t known him since age ten, I would probably find him as sexually attractive as a gassy rat.

But what was even more disheartening was the fact that Sage did everything he could to nurture this false assumption by constantly touching and calling me whenever I hung out with Brandon like he was trying to sabotage our relationship. Sage was only a few weeks short of pissing on my leg to claim his ownership, which was kind of rich, considering how Sage’s dick has been passed around like community property. I’m surprised he’s not partly funded by the government.

Also, we’re out of milk, but don’t worry, I’ll buy some on the way home. Notice how I don’t didn’t use any sexual innuendo even though it’s white and sticky…

“You do. It’s important. Everyone at school needs to know that we’re a thing.” “But why?” “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. Now, I’m pretty sure I’d be a top in jail, not a bottom, but still—not really into dudes. So, yes?”

“You’ll still get free rent, but for as long as you’re my fake girlfriend, I’ll also pay the bills. You’ll get free access to my truck—anytime you want. Last but not least: you’ll get me. All of me. No other women. No distractions. No games. Just you and me, JoJo. Because it’s always been the two of us, and it’s time we act this way, even if only for a little while.”

“JoJo? I think we need to break up our fake relationship.” My eyes flare and my cheeks flush red. “Why?” “Because I just fell in love. I’m talking love at first sight. Your pussy is just so darn pretty, I wanna marry it. Can I marry your pussy? The rest of your body can stay single, I swear.”

It’s not a phase. It’s here to stay. I’m in love with my best friend. With the girl who ran in the rain for me.

It occurred to me that I can’t even think of being with anyone but you, and when I do have a child, I want it to be with you. I love you, JoJo. But you already know that. I’m also in love with you. Crazy about you. Can’t live without you.”

“I love you, I love you, I fucking love you. No matter what happens in my life, you’re the constant thing I can count on. The shelter in the storm, the calm in my chaos.”

“I love you, Jolie Louis. The kind of love that burns through the skin.”

The girl got a kiss on the lips from the boy who no longer howled at the moon and cried on a tree. On the forehead. Like friends do. Then he kissed her on the lips, like lovers do. Then he kissed the inside of her wrists, like soulmates do.

So. You think I’m cheating on you. Do you also think I’m brain-dead by any chance? Why the hell would I cheat on you in our house? I can afford a nice hotel room. Sage: Although I’m guessing that’s not what you want to hear…

I can’t tell her who the lipstick belongs to, because it’s part of a surprise. A surprise I’m hoping will result in a lot of anal. Not—in fact—a divorce.

JoJo is really, truly, carnally in love with my dick. Which is a good thing, because I would legitimately marry her pussy if it was legal.

“Guess what, Daddy?” “What, baby?” “Mommy said I can have a cock.” Sage’s face turns from smiling to stunned.

By the way, you know what else you are going to get, baby?” I turn to my sweet, beautiful daughter who looks just like her father. “What?” “A brother or sister.” Her mouth falls open, and I can’t help but laugh. She frowns. “But…I’m still getting a cock, too, right?”