Full Brutal

by Kristopher Triana

“People speak sometimes about the ‘bestial’ cruelty of man, but that is terribly unjust and offensive to beasts; no animal could ever be so cruel as a man, so artfully, so artistically cruel.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“I carried it too far, that’s for sure.” — Jeffery Dahmer

He attacked me, and I managed to get the knife and fight him. I would have to cut and beat myself up. To hell with that, I don’t want bruises and scars. I want to stay pretty.

While you’re alive, people will shit all over you and break you down till you’re crying on your knees, but then the moment you croak they act like the two of you were best fucking friends. They leeched off your death, hijacking the one drama that really should be all about you.

I’d always taken offense to the negative view many have of killing one’s self, that it’s some sort of defeat or the ultimate sin. I admire people with the strength and determination to check out of this burning sewer. There are hotlines and medications and support groups all designed to keep people from committing suicide because people put such value in human life, mostly because they themselves are human. Meanwhile overpopulation is a bigger problem than it has ever been. Human life has hit record numbers. Why should we value something we have more of than we need? I think a lot of suicide prevention efforts are not so much to save someone from killing themselves, but rather an attempt to keep anyone who knew them from having to accept blame or live with pain. Everyone is a contender when it comes to losing someone they love to suicide, and nobody wants to be stuck with that pain and stigma the rest of their lives. People keep others from jumping off the ledge because they don’t want to have to scoop brains off their front porch.