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March 22, 2021 - May 10, 2022
The goal of these eight lessons is to further shape the culture of your church so that counseling and mutual care of souls become natural features of the body’s everyday life.
Our helpfulness—our care for souls—starts with our need for care. We need God, and we need other people. Maturity through dependence is our goal.
Humility simply acknowledges our many sins and limitations, and it responds with, “I need Jesus, and I need other people.”
One way to put humility to work is this: ask someone to pray for you. God has established his kingdom on earth in such a way that we must ask for help. We ask the Lord for help, and we ask other people.
It is something much different to ask a friend. Our pride resists being vulnerable.
Identify Trouble in Your Life
Connect a Particular Trouble with Scripture
It is God’s will that we say “help” both to him and to others. As we do, we will take an important step toward being able to help others, since needy, humble helpers are the best helpers.
God takes the initiative and moves toward us; we take the initiative toward others.
pursuit and care for his wayward wife. He did this as a way to illustrate God’s relentless love.
Think of Jesus and how he took the least-traveled route to get to one outcast Samaritan woman (John 4).
Remember when he talked about his pursuit of that one lost s...
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Kings receive people. They consent to give you a five-minute audience, then off you go. Kings do not show up at your home or go out of their way to help you. But everything changes when King Jesus comes.
Grace is God’s moving toward us in Christ. He pursued us not because we called out so well and took the first step of self-reformation. We were simply sick and needed him. Or worse, we were enemies who were not inclined to surrender.2
And in this we discover why it might be hard for us to move toward others: the one taking the initiative in the relationship—the one who loves most—is the one who risks humiliation.
Because of Jesus, you no longer look for the easiest person to talk to when people gather. Instead, you move toward the quieter ones, the new person, and the outliers. Imagine a group of people who move toward each other—active more than passive, loving more than fearing rejection.
Instead, you move toward the quieter ones, the new person, and the outliers.
This is an example of what the apostle Paul calls putting on Christ
been the most difficult of his life. In response, no one said a word. No one ever approached him. No one asked, “Please, tell me more. How are you now? How can I pray for you?” Not one. It is no surprise that he kept to himself for the next ten years.
Silence is the same as turning away.
The Lord calls us family, so we greet warmly. The Lord knows our name, so we learn someone’s name. The Lord knows seemingly irrelevant details about us, such as the number of hairs on our heads, so we take an interest in details. Is the person new to your gathering? Where does he or she live? Who does she live with? Does she work, go to school, manage a home?
pursue others as we have been pursued by Jesus.
Our interest in helping one another pushes us beyond routine conversations and into the realm of the heart.
But when someone asks, “How are you?” and then stops everything and takes a seat to listen, you are inclined to say more.
We want to know what is important to the other person, and this takes us into what Scripture calls the heart.
The heart can be veiled and difficult to know. We prefer to hide its less attractive thoughts and some of its hurts. But when we are willing to be a little more vulnerable, and others handle our hearts with care, we discover that knowing and being known are part of our design.
These conversations are a pleasure, and they are essential if we
are to care for, help, and encourage ea...
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a treasure for which we must search (Matt. 6:20).
it will take time, and trust, to draw it out.
You know you have entered into the heart when you discover wants, affections, or desires.
“How are you doing in your spiritual battles? How are you
handling life’s temptations?” We usually give access to these places only in more seasoned relationships marked by love.
We listen for the joys and sorrows, the hopes and fears, and we take an interest in them.
We search for “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, [and] self-control” (Gal. 5:22–23) and other character qualities that look like Jesus.
point them out, and simply like the person.
Have compassion when there ...
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What do you love?
What makes you happy?
What makes you sad?
What makes you angry?
What do you fear?
Practice seeing the good—not just good circumstances but moral goodness.
Notice when the person is patient
when treated badly, kind when treated unkindly, forgiving, gentle, and able to sa...
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We can be dirt poor, but we judge life by our relationships. When we are rich with close friends and family, life is good. When isolated and detached, no amount of money can counterbalance such hardships.
When we hear of overwhelming circumstances and relationships, we want to help one another speak these troubles to the Lord, ask for his compassion and strength, and be assured of his faithful love.
“How is your health?” This is the most common greeting throughout the world. “Could you pray for healing?” This is our most common prayer request.
Though our outer self [our body] is wasting away, our inner self [our heart or our soul] is being renewed day by day. (2 Cor. 4:16)
We give thanks for good health. We pray for healing during sickness. We pray for faith to be renewed during sickness.
