What to Do When I'm Gone: A Mother's Wisdom to Her Daughter

by Suzy Hopkins

If you’re upset with someone, it’s probably related to the fact that you love this person. Go to bed early and get a good night’s sleep. The next morning, pretend that a meteor is going to hit the earth in five minutes, wiping out your neighborhood. Would you be worried about who’s right and who’s wrong, or would you just want to give a hug and never let go? Problem solved.

All I can say is, it’s worth it when you find someone who knows what you are going through and actually cares. Who knows your history and doesn’t mind at all. Who knows what you are really like first thing in the morning and loves you anyway. Yes, it’s risky, and yes, there are times when it’s a lot of work. Take that chance.

Grief isn’t the only byproduct of a death. And death isn’t just subtraction. You’re left with a treasure of memories that can be triggered by sights, sounds, smells—a record of how my life enriched yours.

Sitting and reading a good book, drinking tea, taking a walk with you. For me, those were life’s best moments. Better even than seeing the Taj Mahal or sailing the fjords or skiing in Switzerland. Sitting around just talking about . . . stuff. That’s what I really miss.