80/20 Your Life! How To Get More Done With Less Effort And Change Your Life In The Process!

by Damon Zahariades

Create A Strategy For Reading Non-Fiction Books

First, as with novels, don’t feel as if you must finish a book. Toss it aside if it doesn’t interest you. Move on to a book you find to be more useful, engaging, or insightful. Second, scan the table of contents before you begin to read the book. Look for items that are immediately relevant to you. Again, don’t feel like you have to read the entire book. It’s okay to skip to the relevant sections. The table of contents will also provide a roadmap. You’ll be able to see where the author is starting, his or her destination, and how he or she intends to get there. Third, highlight important passages. If you’re reading a print book, use a yellow highlighter. If you’re reading the book on a Kindle or phone, use the highlighting feature. Come back to these passages later for reminders or to glean new insights from them.

Spend Less Time Aimlessly Surfing The Internet

First, make a list of the 20 websites you visit most often during the week. Then, note the amount of time you spend on each one. If you’re unable to come up with accurate estimates, use RescueTime or a similar time tracking app to monitor your online activity. Second, circle five sites on your list that you’ll allow yourself to visit in the future. These will likely be the sites at which you spend the majority of your time. Third, set a timer for 60 minutes at the beginning of each day. Start the timer each time you visit one of these five sites. Allow it to count down, and only stop it when you stop surfing. Continue to do this throughout the day without resetting the timer. When the timer finally reaches zero, you’ll have effectively used up that day’s web surfing time.

Optimize The Time You Spend With Loved Ones

Be Purposeful

First, recognize that 80% of your interactions with your family are trivial. They don’t count as quality time. Such interactions are usually incidental and do nothing to reinforce the connections you share with your spouse and kids. An example is asking your spouse whether he or she paid the mortgage. Another example is asking your kids whether they finished their homework. Second, be purposeful when you communicate with your family. It’s easy to give short, glib answers to questions asked by your loved ones. For example, when asked “how was your day,” you reply “fine.” Instead, take the time to answer thoughtfully with details. And when you ask your loved ones about their days, listen attentively. The better your communication, the deeper the connection. Third, plan activities that you and your loved ones will enjoy together. For example, go on weekly dates with your spouse. If your kids are young, take them to the park and play with them a few times a week. If they’re older, organize a weekly outing - for example, visit local museums, go fishing, or go on hikes. Or stay home and play board games together.

Twenty percent of your interactions with your loved ones do the heavy lifting when it comes to cementing the bonds you share with them. Rather than allowing these interactions to happen haphazardly, be purposeful. It takes time and effort, but pays dividends that make the investment worthwhile.

Ignore You...

First, realize that 80% of the messages you receive are unimportant. Perhaps even 90%. They can be ignored without consequence. Second, based on the above, commit to turning your phone off whenever you spend quality time with your family. The odds of receiving a truly urgent message that warrants interrupting this time are infinitesimal. Play the odds. Third, ask your family to do the same. Encourage them to think of the times you spend together as “no-phone zones.”

Ignore 80% Of The Things That Annoy You

First, figure out why you get annoyed. Often, the reasons have little to do with the person whose actions annoy us. Much of our irritation stems from our immediate circumstances. For example, if you’ve just spent 90 minutes in bumper-to-bumper traffic, you’re more likely to be annoyed than if you had been relaxing at home with an engaging novel and glass of your favorite wine. If you’re already on edge, think twice before blaming the person at whom you’re annoyed. Second, recognize that 80% of the things that annoy us are inconsequential. They’re small things that matter little. Treat them as such. For example, rather than becoming annoyed at the sight of unwashed dishes in the sink, spend 60 seconds washing them. Forgive and move on. Third, remind yourself that “this too shall pass.” This practice may seem silly, but consider this: we usually become annoyed in the heat of the moment. Something happens that we dislike, and we immediately get upset. This is an emotional response, not one born of rational thought. When you tell yourself “this too shall pass,” you recognize the temporary nature of whatever is irking you. Most of the things that irk us are trivial, short-lived, and therefore not worth our irritation.

Strengthen Bonds You Share With (Good) Friends

Identify The 20% Of Your Friends With Whom You Spend 80% Of Your Time

First, make a list of your top 100 friends. Second, note how much time you spend with each of them on a monthly basis. Include time spent in person as well as time spent on the phone and sending texts and emails. Third, identify good friends who are receiving significantly less time from you than friends who offer less value (we’ll talk more about this below).

Pare Down The Number Of Friendships You're Trying To Maintain

First, determine how much time you have available to spend with friends. If you work full-time and have a large family, you’ll have less time available than a single twenty-something who works part-time. Second, refer to the list of your top 100 friends (or however many friends you have). You can probably sever at least half of those connections without consequence. These are the “friends” with whom you spend little time, share scant intimacy, and have little in common with. Third, refrain from reaching out to the half (or more) you’ve identified as expendable. This may seem insensitive. And in truth, it is. But it’s necessary to give you the freedom to pursue the friendships that matter most to you. It may console you to know that those relationships are probably just as important to them as they are to you, which is to say not important at all.

Focus Your Time On The Most Rewarding Friendships

First, write down all of the characteristics you value. Don’t be timid. Pretend as if you’re creating the ultimate friend. Second, review your abridged list of friends from above. This is your top 100 list sans the relationships you consider to be expendable. Third, appraise each person on the list. Consider how many of your favored characteristics he or she possesses. Assign each friend a score from one to ten on this basis.

Don’t Try To Become Friends With Everyone You Meet

First, recognize that the majority of people you meet will not become true friends. The odds are simply against it. The older we get, the more importance we place on our values and convictions. The odds of strangers’ values and convictions dovetailing with our own are small, and grow slimmer as we age. Second, with the above in mind, be willing to abandon new relationships that seem to blossom but hold little long-term potential. You’ll find that this circumstance prevails among the majority of the people you encounter. Third, always remain approachable. Even though most new relationships quickly fizzle, you might meet someone that eventually becomes a great friend. I experienced this a few years ago. I met a fellow at a coffeeshop, and discovered we shared the same values, experiences, and goals. Today, he’s a big part of my social life. It’s rare, but it happens.

Focus Your Time On Folks Who Complement Your Personality

First, familiarize yourself with the 16 personality types defined by the Myers-Briggs personality type indicator. Note which type you are, and observe which types align with you. This will help you to weed out much of the field. Second, look for dominant traits of complementary personality types. For example, suppose your type is ISTJ. You tend to get along well with ESTPs, which stands for extraversion (E), sensing (S), thinking (T), perception (P). Dominant traits include good situational awareness, forthright communication, and deep engagement during conversation. As an ISTJ, you’re likely to be compatible with someone who possesses these attributes. Third, refrain from spending significant time with those who have non-complementary personality types.

Create Filters To Identify Promising "Candidates"

First, make a list of personality traits you dislike. Examples include being argumentative, self-absorbed, or prone to gossiping behind others’ backs. Second, rank each trait on a scale of one to ten according to how obnoxious and unpleasant you find it. Third, use this list to decide whether someone you’ve met is worth pursuing as a friend.

Maintain A Mostly-Clean Diet

First, make a list of your favorite unhealthy foods. From potato chips and ice cream to donuts and pancakes. Don’t hedge. Ice cream isn’t healthy for the fact that it contains calcium. Second, make a list of simple, healthy meals and snacks. The easier they are to prepare, the better. Third, commit to sticking to these healthy meals and snacks 80% of the time. Give yourself permission to indulge 20% of the time. For example, suppose you have eggs for breakfast, a salmon fillet for lunch, and chicken and veggies for dinner. Allow yourself a small bowl of ice cream for dessert.

Avoid Dietary Traps At Restaurants

First, don’t be afraid to ask for changes on certain dishes. For example, if a dish comes with french fries, ask to replace them with veggies. If a dish sounds appealing, but comes with a lot of sauces, ask that the sauces be delivered on the side. Second, ask for a take-home container when you place your order. When your dish arrives, place half of it in the container. This is a great way to apply portion control, important when you’re dining in restaurants that serve dishes big enough for two people. Third, if you and your dining partner plan to order the same meal, order one and split it. You’ll probably find that it’s enough to leave both of you feeling satisfied. In the unlikely event you’re still hungry after splitting the meal, you can always order additional food.

Say No To Temptations At Social Affairs

First, eat something before you arrive at the event. Almonds and apples are good options because the contain fiber. The fiber will give you a sensation of satiety, which will prevent you from gorging later. Second, allow 20% of the calories you eat to come from unhealthy foods. For example, if you’re attending a friend’s barbecue, eat chicken with a light coat of BBQ sauce. The chicken, arguably a healthy choice, will make up 80% of the meal’s calories. The light coat of BBQ sauce will make up the other 20%. Third, be willing to turn down food when it’s offered to you. Don’t feel as if you must accept a plate of artery-clogging snacks lest you hurt the host’s feelings. You can turn it down in a way that’s polite and respectful.

Do Compound Exercises

First, identify your top priority. Are you trying to gain muscle mass? Lose fat? Get toned? Or are you mostly interested in increased stamina? Second, pick compound exercises that support your top priority. For example, if your goal is to gain lower-body muscle mass, do barbell squats and barbell deadlifts. If you want to reduce fat, try plate twists, weighted bench dips, and walking lunges. Third, create a short workout routine based on these compound exercises. I’m an advocate of making slow, incremental progress. That being the case, I recommend limiting your workout to 10 minutes a day for the first two weeks. Don’t over do it. Focus on building the habit. You can extend the duration of your workout later.

Focus On One Major Fitness Goal

First, write down your goals and rate them according to importance. This is merely a snapshot of where you are today. If you’re carrying a few extra pounds, losing weight might be your current priority, and thus rate higher than building muscle mass. Two months from now, after you’ve dropped the extra pounds, you can revisit your goals and rerank them. Second, turn your top-priority goal into a S.M.A.R.T. goal. This acronym stands for specific (S), measurable (M), attainable (A), relevant (R), and time-based (T). A S.M.A.R.T. goal related to weight loss might look like the following: to experience more energy, I’ll lose two pounds a week over the course of eight weeks via daily exercises performed at home. Third, obtain a daily calendar that displays the next eight weeks. Use it to monitor your workout activity. Each day, after you finish your exercises, cross the day off on your calendar. Use a red pen. When you see an unbroken string of red X’s, you’ll be disinclined to break your streak.