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The life I live today is an accumulation of dozens of decisions I have made. When I was younger, I took advantage of the doors that swung open for me. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to push the doors open—for myself.
If we make choices more consciously, and with greater self-awareness, we will find ourselves more closely aligned to our purpose in life, whatever it may be.
Life can be magical. But living it well takes work, focus, patience, compassion, determination, and discipline. Jealousy, or comparing yourself with anyone, is a toxic recipe. Jealousy only produces feelings of never being good enough. I believe we are—each of us—singular in our own way. We each have something unique to offer, which only we can give to the world.
Everything in life starts with a dream. But first the dream needs to be clearly defined and, more important, you need to understand why you want it.
whatever I ended up doing, I knew I would have to be the best at it. Not the best compared with others, but the best version of myself.
How will reaching your goals serve a larger purpose? Why does it matter to you? What are you willing to do to come closer to achieving your goals? What do you need to get there?
Once you’re clear about what you want to achieve, next is focus—taking the many small actions to propel yourself forward.
The third step is dedication. This means staying on track over the long haul, and giving yourself credit for what you’ve done well, but also concentrating on those areas where you need improvement.
Dedication means putting in the time towards what you want, and love, the areas where you want to achieve excellence. Dedication says, I’m going to keep on going, no matter what. Without dedication, you’re less likely to see the benefits of all your hard work. If focus means saying yes to hard work, dedication means saying no to distraction—to the activities and even the people pulling you in different directions or pushing you to give up.
The fourth step, humility, is especially important to me. If you’re clear, focused, and dedicated, and you end up succeeding at what you set out to do, you might believe you deserve special treatment. Well, you don’t! Most people don’t have an easy road to the top
if you have humility, you achieve something more important than worldly success: you become a lifelong learner. Humility allows you to grow from your mistakes, to know that everyone and every experience can teach you something. In my experience, it opens the doors to a bigger, more meaningful life.
making a big deal out of little moments matters a lot to me.
My goal is to be present. To feel and experience my life deeply, even if what I’m feeling overwhelms me or sometimes makes me burst into tears (which I do now and then). To live a full and meaningful life with the awareness of what’s happening around me—and to inspire my children to live that way, too.
“You become mature when you become the authority of your own life.”
the quality of our life is directly linked to our attitudes.
when you start seeing yourself as a victim, you surrender your power, and it can be hard to get it back.
whenever I feel weighted down by anger or fear, the first thing I do is accept my feelings. I see the turmoil as a visitor just passing through. Then, consciously, I say goodbye to it, knowing I was the one who allowed it to come in the first place. I don’t let go of those feelings because I’m an amazingly unselfish person either! I let go because in the end it’s better for me.
the only thing that will matter to me is whether or not I was a good person. A loving person. An addition to this life—not a subtraction. Someone who experienced life fully, who lived her truth, who loved life, and the earth, and had a positive impact on the world.
The quality of your life depends on the quality of your relationships.
The memories of my interactions with the people I love stays with me longer than other experiences.
the longest and most important relationship any of us will ever have is with ourselves. That’s why I believe self-awareness is so important. We all need to learn to become comfortable with ourselves as early as possible, and to grasp that we are responsible for who we are.
By refocusing on my breath, I make a conscious effort to change the conversation in my head.
learning about yourself through being involved with other people is completely different from comparing yourself with other people.
Comparing yourself with another person is pointless. Why? Because all of us have something special to offer since each one of us is unique.
Am I doing the best I can at my job? Am I being the best wife, the best mother, the best friend, the best human being? How can I keep learning and improving?
Becoming a mother has inspired me to work on myself even more than usual because I know I’m setting the emotional tone for my family, and also acting as a mirror for my children and husband.
all our relationships—including our marriages or partnerships—come to us to support our growth, and give us the opportunity to learn to create happiness and fulfillment. All our relationships together form a kind of mosaic.
Our thoughts create our words and our actions.
the words other people use to describe them are only true if they accept them as true.
Other people’s words have almost nothing to do with you and almost everything to do with them. Instead, ask yourself: What do I really want? And why? Be as clear as you can about your intentions.
The big questions I always ask myself are: How well or how poorly did I use the time I was given this past year? Have I taken full advantage of the hours, days, weeks, and months that I was given? Have I prioritized what is most important to me, and have I given my best, and most present attention?
The lesson: Where your attention goes is what grows
We all need to be careful with where our attention goes—and our attention always begins with our thoughts. Once we believe something is true, it becomes closer to coming true.
The best way we learn how to do anything is by doing it. Day after day, my job gave me the opportunity to be surrounded by teams of amazingly creative people. I had great teachers. I set out to absorb and analyze anything and everything I could.
I always kept my eyes straight ahead. I always knew what I was working for.
What we choose to focus our attention on is so very important. First comes the thought. Why? Because before you can aspire to something, or act on something, you need to imagine what that thing is. The more you think about something, the stronger your thoughts around it become—and eventually it turns into a belief.
Your thoughts can destroy you or your thoughts can catapult you to new and better places. But whatever you choose to do as a result of your thoughts, make sure you do it for the right reasons. When you do something to satisfy yourself, something you really feel will make you happier, it’s a wonderful thing.
I bring careful attention to the information I take in every day—and how I feed and nourish my own mind.
If I gave all my attention to the internet or the latest breaking news, the quality of my life would change, and not for the better. My phone would become my focus, and my fear, anxiety, and helplessness would grow.
How am I using my time? Am I spending it with the people I love? Am I being mindful and present in each moment? Am I learning about people, ideas, or situations that will feed me in a positive way? Am I reading books or magazines that teach and inspire me and bring me joy? Am I focusing my attention on things that might be out of my comfort zone—but help me grow? The important point is that we can choose to put our attention on the areas of our life that will support us being our best.
we can choose to live in heaven or hell right here on earth. Both are in our own minds. We are helping create either one.
Blessing my food before I eat means that I’m giving it my fullest respect and attention.
for anyone to succeed and thrive in their outside life, they need to have a strong, stable inside life.
marriage, or any relationship, comes down to two people walking side by side through life, learning alone and together, and sharing what they’ve learned with each other as they keep growing and expanding.
