Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life

by Gisele Bündchen

As I said earlier, I expressed to Tom that the last thing I wanted from our marriage was codependence. When you feel you need to save the other person. When you spend the whole time worrying about his needs to the point that they subsume or become your own. When you feel the need to rescue him or fix him. What could be more dangerous than being in a relationship where your partner can’t breathe without you, or when a partner needs you to make him whole, or when he’s responsible for filling in parts of yourself you lack, and you lose yourself and your own identity? No, our marriage not only had to be based on love, respect, and honesty; it had to be interdependent—where two strong people love each other but never to the point of sacrificing their own happiness or values. To me, marriage, or any relationship, comes down to two people walking side by side through life, learning alone and together, and sharing what they’ve learned with each other as they keep growing and expanding.