The Remaking of Corbin Wale

by Roan Parrish

He was going to bake his positive feelings into the bread and give it to Alex. Bake with love for those you love and they will taste the sweetness.

Alex trailed off, realizing he’d stepped even closer to Corbin. “And you never felt those things. With those other men.” Alex shook his head. “No. It was all pale, a shadow of what I think it would feel like. They all wanted me, and I wanted them. But . . .” He ran his fingers through Corbin’s hair, dusting the ground with flour. “They didn’t need me. I didn’t need them.”

“There’s something about him that just . . . it calls out to me. I’ve never felt that about anyone before. It’s like a place inside him is screaming my name, and I just want to answer it with everything.”

“The problem is that even if you don’t touch, even if you keep things back, even if you don’t go out to dinner or to the movies, the feelings are still there. Because love doesn’t live in kisses and flowers and first dates. It lives in your mind, in your heart. The problem is that I already love you.”

“You were so gorgeous,” he murmured. “And your mind. It’s beautiful.” Alex brushed his hair back. “You remake the world a hundred times a day.”

They’d made a life that fit them. They’d made their own rules and followed their own whims. And neither of them had ever been happier. For Alex it was a magnification, for Corbin a revelation. But both of them tended it like a fire, feeding it with care, so it warmed and sustained, but didn’t consume.

Corbin was so exhausted from being anxious all day that he didn’t have the energy to put his fear into words. He didn’t have the energy to look into Alex’s eyes and say I love you. I didn’t even know what love was until I loved you. I’m so afraid I might lose you. Please don’t let this be the last kiss, the last touch. Hold me all night, please don’t let go.