Conflict is necessary because we inevitably run into speed bumps in our ability to love one another, and when we hit one of these speed bumps we need to slow down and proceed with care. Mutual understanding: This is the healthiest and most productive goal of all conflict. That may surprise you. The goal of conflict is not to win or to convince the other person that you’re right or even to be the same. In creating compromise we have to understand each other’s core needs on the issue we’re discussing, as well as each other’s areas of flexibility. However, the goal is not to become identical,
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