Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

by John M. Gottman

it’s our commitment to being curious rather than correct that allows us to turn toward instead of away from one another in the moments of disagreement.

Perfection is not the price of love. Practice is. We practice how to express our love and how to receive our partner’s love. Love is an action even more than a feeling. It requires intention and attention, a practice we call attunement.

Happily ever after simply means that both partners are known, valued, accepted for who they are and who they are becoming.

Happy couples are not so very different from unhappy couples; they are simply able to make repairs to their relationship easier and faster so they can get back to the joy of being together.

The plain and simple truth is—date nights make relationships.

the main event of a date night is just time to be together and to reconnect, to fall back in love and remind yourselves that there is more to your relationship than sharing a home or coparenting children. You remind yourselves that you are first and foremost friends and lovers.

Date nights should be sacred times to honor your relationship.

At times, both John and Julie, and Doug and Rachel, would trade childcare with other couples, so both couples could enjoy date nights.

Children are incredibly resilient, and by showing your commitment to your relationship with your partner, you’re nurturing your children by ensuring that they will be raised by parents in a healthy and stable relationship.