Soft in the Middle

by Shelby Eileen

how do you mourn the loss of a love you never spoke out loud never felt with your own two hands?

I’m worthy of being a witness to beauty the stars shine for me too

studying sunshine so as to become as lovely as its light

you don’t stare too long into a window when there’s only darkness on the other side

the only requirement of loving me is that you do it gently and gently does not mean less than it simply means softly, knowingly, responsibly

just because I write about you doesn’t mean I write for you

or is it just me that feels everyone else’s pain like it’s my own?

I don’t know what it is to feel wanted only what it is to want

half of my heart has always existed outside of myself completely out of my control

I think people are like stories and when they write you into their lives that’s something to be thankful for even if it’s just for a chapter I’m so glad to have pages with your smile on them

I think our mouth got tired of keeping all our words in I think our head got sick of pretending I’m not the one calling the shots I think caring too much made us mince the affection we show to others and I think telling people their worth is immeasurable is one hell of a way to feel alive

when I say soft I mean the inside of a rose I don’t mean all this flesh

some would do anything to wear their insides on their outsides if it made them a little easier on the eyes

lovely side effects of living palm to palm with nature

I want to spend the mornings clutching notebooks and pens and each other’s hands loosening our limits until nothing large is impossible

all I know is that their name tastes like cookies in my mouth