Soft in the Middle

by Shelby Eileen

these words are what I’m saying when I say nothing at all

there is always too much to lose

everything is always happening; trying and doing and falling and failing life is never still

making my own misery is what I do best

the world stacks the cons of being soft but that doesn’t stop me from reaching for the clouds while embodying them too

you don’t stare too long into a window when there’s only darkness on the other side

I don’t want a great many things from life so the things that I want that I can’t have break my heart the most

the only requirement of loving me is that you do it gently and gently does not mean less than it simply means softly, knowingly, responsibly

just because I write about you doesn’t mean I write for you

I don’t know what it is to feel wanted only what it is to want

I found peace between trees in slivers of sunlight in places where the air needed me to breathe not the other way around

I wish I was more like the sky after rain; open and light there’s so much to learn from the sky- how to shine like the stars and how to hold happiness like the sun

words are all we have

the world gives us no choice

sometimes poetry is enough the words are big enough to fill the space where the things you don’t have are missing from

heart a wretched place stomach a quivering mess all the things I keep on the inside run around, frantic there’s broken glass in all my limbs and burnt out lights behind my eyes how many young people feel older than nightmares?