To fear engulfment is to believe that closeness takes something away from you. Deal with this fear of losing yourself paradoxically by freely giving yourself. Make a self-disclosure, admit a vulnerability, or show a feeling. Thus you stop losing by letting go. To fear abandonment is to dread being left alone. This is a fear not of loss of self but of gain of self-confrontation. Setting time aside for yourself daily means choosing the very thing you fear. This paradoxical reversal leads gradually to your enjoying your aloneness.
