The Flame: Poems, Notebooks, Lyrics, Drawings

by Leonard Cohen

ALL HE KNOWS All he knows is that this has happened before— this moment, next moment, last moment. It is playing a second time, maybe a third. Yes, a third time. He remembers remembering it.

MOVING ON I loved your face, I loved your hair Your T-shirts and your eveningwear As for the world, the job, the war I ditched them all to love you more And you’re gone, now you’re gone As if there never was a you Who broke the heart and made it new Who’s moving on, who’s kidding who I loved your moods, I loved the way They threatened every single day Your body ruled me, though it’s true ’Twas more hormonal than the view And now you’re gone, now you’re gone As if there never was a you Queen of lilac, Queen of blue Who’s moving on, who’s kidding who I loved your face, I loved your hair Your T-shirts and your eveningwear As for the world, the job, the war I ditched them all to love you more And now you’re gone, now you’re gone As if there never was a you Held me dying, pulled me through Who’s moving on, who’s kidding who

Was I alone When we swore To keep it true Was I alone Or was I there With you Temptations There were more Than a few Was I alone Or was I there With you Was I alone When the mind Was split in two Was I alone Or was I there With you There was death But I knew What to do Was I alone Or was I there With you You’ll have to wait If you’re waiting For an argument With me You’ll have to wait

Till it’s over And life and death Agree

come and see they will say you did not know me they will say you did not love me they will say you did not thirst for the taste of me they will say i lied about our youthful encounter when i lifted my hem and i let my form shine through the folds of a terrible day 40 years i wandered in your desert a moment of your beauty and 40 years of breathlessness to balance it 40 years of remorse 40 years of disappointment sleep which gives no rest caress which does not calm excitement with no background arousal from no depth the shallows of excitement because it was not you and a hand across my mouth to silence me a clever fatigue to shut me down a knot in my throat

a blow to the brain a sweet distraction to kill the appetite a flush of sugar to kill the appetite and then forgetting you for 40 years building houses for women whom you sent to remind me see how i failed you but that doesn’t mean it never happened this began and fizzled out once again too tired to love you or look for you in the suffering and did i forget to thank you for what i felt a moment ago when you beckoned me with god knows what drunken promises

Thanks for the dance It was hell, it was swell, it was fun Thanks for all the dances One two three, one two three one There is a rose in your hair Your shoulders are bare It’s a costume But I’m a believer So turn up the music Pour out the wine Stop at the surface The surface is fine We don’t need to go any deeper Thanks for the dance I hear that we’re married One two three, one two three one Thanks for the dance And the baby you carried It was almost a daughter or a son And there’s nothing to do But to wonder if you Are as tired as I am Of leaving We’re joined in the spirit Joined at the hip Joined in the panic Wondering if We’ve come to some sort Of agreement Thanks for the dance It was hell, it was swell, it was fun Thanks for all the dances

One two three, one two three one It was fine, it was fast We were first, we were last In line at the Temple of Pleasure But the green was so green And the blue was so blue I was so I And you were so you The crisis was light As a feather Thanks for the dance It was hell, it was swell, it was fun Thanks for all the dances One two three, one two three one

I used to be your favourite drunk Good for one more laugh Then we both ran out of luck And luck was all we had You put on a uniform To fight the Civil War I tried to join but no one liked The side I’m fighting for So let’s drink to when it’s over And let’s drink to when we meet I’II be standing on this corner Where there used to be a street You left me with the dishes And a baby in the bath And you’re tight with the militias You wear their camouflage I guess that makes us equal But I want to march with you An extra in the sequel To the old red-white-and-blue So let’s drink to when it’s over And let’s drink to when we meet I’ll be standing on this corner Where there used to be a street I cried for you this morning And I’ll cry for you again But I’m not in charge of sorrow So please don’t ask me when I know the burden’s heavy As you bear it through the night Some people say it’s empty

But that doesn’t mean it’s light So let’s drink to when it’s over And let’s drink to when we meet I’ll be standing on this corner Where there used to be a street It’s going to be September now For many years to come Every heart adjusting To the strict September drum I see the Ghost of Culture With the numbers on his wrist Salute some new conclusion Which all of us have missed So let’s drink to when it’s over And let’s drink to when we meet I’ll be standing on this corner Where there used to be a street

I pray for courage Now I’m old To greet the sickness And the cold I pray for courage In the night To bear the burden Make it light I pray for courage In the time When suffering comes and Starts to climb I pray for courage At the end To see death coming As a friend

Nowhere to go Nothing to say You won’t hear my voice Till it’s far, far away I’m too tired now To fight anymore We’re saying goodbye At the innermost door When I am alone You’ll come back to me It’s happened before It’s called memory I must go back To where we began When I was a woman And you were a man If you come with me I’ll never begin We made us a home But the roof’s fallen in When I am alone You’ll come back to me It’s happened before It’s called memory I’m not even sure If I know where to start But starting is second First we must part I’m too tired now To fight anymore We’re saying goodbye At the innermost door

CRAZY TO LOVE YOU I had to go crazy to love you Had to go down to the pit Had to do time in the tower Now I’m too tired to quit I had to go crazy to love you You who were never the one Whom I chased through the souvenir heartache My braids and my blouse all undone Sometimes I’d head for the highway I’m old and the mirrors don’t lie But crazy has places to hide me Deeper than saying goodbye I had to go crazy to love you Had to let everything fall Had to be people I hated Had to be no one at all Tired of choosing desire I’ve been saved by a blessed fatigue The gates of commitment unwired And nobody trying to leave Sometimes I’d head for the highway I’m old and the mirrors don’t lie But crazy has places to hide me Deeper than saying goodbye

DARKNESS I caught the darkness Drinking from your cup I caught the darkness Drinking from your cup I said: Is this contagious? You said: Just drink it up

I got no future I know my days are few The present’s not that pleasant Just a lot of things to do I thought the past would last me But the darkness got that too I should have seen it coming It was right behind your eyes You were young and it was summer I just had to take a dive Winning you was easy But darkness was the prize

I don’t smoke no cigarette I don’t drink no alcohol I ain’t had much loving yet But that’s always been your call Hey I don’t miss it baby I got no taste for anything at all I used to love the rainbow I used to love the view I loved the early morning I’d pretend that it was new But I caught the darkness baby And I got it worse than you

I caught the darkness Drinking from your cup I caught the darkness Drinking from your cup I said: Is this contagious? You said: Just drink it up

ANYHOW It’s a shame and it’s a pity The way you treat me now I know you can’t forgive me But forgive me anyhow The ending got so ugly Even heard you say You never ever loved me Oh but love me anyway Dreamed about you baby You were wearing half your dress I know you have to hate me But could you hate me less? I used up all my chances And you’ll never take me back But there ain’t no harm in asking Could you cut me one more slack? I’m naked and I’m filthy And there’s sweat upon my brow And both of us are guilty Anyhow Have mercy on me baby After all I did confess Even though you have to hate me Could you hate me less? It’s a shame and it’s a pity I know you can’t forgive me The ending got so ugly You never ever loved me Dreamed about you baby I know you have to hate me I’m naked and I’m filthy

And both of us are guilty Anyhow Have mercy on me baby

COME HEALING O gather up the brokenness And bring it to me now The fragrance of those promises You never dared to vow The splinters that you carry The cross you left behind Come healing of the body Come healing of the mind And let the heavens hear it The penitential hymn Come healing of the spirit Come healing of the limb

Sleep baby sleep The day’s on the run The wind in the trees Is talking in tongues If your heart is torn I don’t wonder why If the night is long Here’s my lullaby Well the mouse ate the crumb Then the cat ate the crust Now they’ve fallen in love They’re talking in tongues If your heart is torn I don’t wonder why If the night is long Here’s my lullaby Sleep baby sleep There’s a morning to come The wind in the trees they’re talking in tongues If your heart is torn I don’t wonder why If the night is long Here’s my lullaby

If you are the dealer I’m out of the game If you are the healer I’m broken and lame If thine is the glory Then mine must be the shame You want it darker We kill the flame Magnified and sanctified Be Thy Holy Name Vilified and crucified In the human frame A million candles burning For the help that never came You want it darker We kill the flame Hineni Hineni I’m ready, my Lord There’s a lover in the story But the story is still the same There’s a lullaby for suffering And a paradox to blame But it’s written in the scriptures And it’s not some idle claim You want it darker We kill the flame They’re lining up the prisoners The guards are taking aim I struggled with some demons They were middle-class and tame Didn’t know I had permission To murder and to maim

You want it darker Hineni Hineni I’m ready, my Lord Magnified and sanctified Be Thy Holy Name Vilified and crucified In the human frame A million candles burning For the love that never came You want it darker We kill the flame If you are the dealer I’m out of the game If you are the healer I’m broken and lame If thine is the glory Then mine must be the shame You want it darker We kill the flame Hineni Hineni I’m ready, my Lord

TREATY I seen you change the water into wine I seen you change it back to water too I sit at your table every night I try but I just don’t get high with you I wish there was a treaty we could sign I do not care who takes this bloody hill I’m angry and I’m tired all the time I wish there was a treaty I wish there was a treaty Between your love and mine They’re dancing in the street—it’s Jubilee We sold ourselves for love but now we’re free I’m so sorry for the ghost I made you be Only one of us was real—and that was me. I haven’t said a word since you’ve been gone That any liar couldn’t say as well I just can’t believe the static coming on You were my ground—my safe and sound You were my aerial The fields are crying out—it’s Jubilee We sold ourselves for love but now we’re free I’m so sorry for the ghost I made you be Only one of us was real—and that was me. I heard the snake was baffled by his sin He shed his scales to find the snake within But born again is born without a skin The poison enters into everything I wish there was a treaty we could sign I do not care who takes the bloody hill I’m angry and I’m tired all the time I wish there was a treaty I wish there was a treaty

Between your love and mine I wish there was a treaty we could sign It’s over now, the water and the wine We were broken then, but now we’re borderline I wish there was a treaty I wish there was a treaty Between your love and mine

LEAVING THE TABLE I’m leaving the table I’m out of the game I don’t know the people In your picture frame If I ever loved you It’s a crying shame If I ever loved you If I knew your name You don’t need a lawyer I’m not making a claim You don’t need to surrender I’m not taking aim I don’t need a lover The wretched beast is tame I don’t need a lover So blow out the flame There’s nobody missing There is no reward Little by little We’re cutting the cord We’re spending the treasure That love cannot afford I know you can feel it The sweetness restored I don’t need a reason For what I became I’ve got these excuses They’re tired and lame I don’t need a pardon There’s no one left to blame I’m leaving the table I’m out of the game

IF I DIDN’T HAVE YOUR LOVE If the sun would lose its light And we lived an endless night And there was nothing left That you could feel That’s how it would be What the world would seem to me If I didn’t have your love To make it real If the stars were all unpinned And a cold and bitter wind Swallowed up the world Without a trace Well that’s where I would be What my life would seem to me If I couldn’t lift the veil And see your face If no leaves were on the tree And no water in the sea And the break of day Had nothing to reveal That’s how broken I would be What my life would seem to me If I didn’t have your love To make it real If the sun would lose its light And we lived an endless night And there was nothing left That you could feel If the sea were sand alone And the flowers made of stone And no one that you hurt Could ever heal That’s how broken I would be What my life would seem

If I didn’t have your love To make it real

It seemed the better way When first I heard him speak But now it’s much too late To turn the other cheek Sounded like the truth Seemed the better way Sounded like the truth But it’s not the truth today I wonder what it was I wonder what it meant At first he touched on love But then he touched on death I better hold my tongue I better take my place Lift this glass of blood Try to say the grace

*** I loved you. I envied you. I thought I had a right to your company. When that time came I wasted it in tales of strength and boasting. Your lovely light has guided me so long. Sometimes the light of a firefly, sometimes the light of a furnace.

Trying to find a place to kneel between the poets of pain Trying to find a world to feel that feels like the world again My darling says her love is real then why does she complain

Everything, everything that you have found favorable in my songs and my poetry is inspired by this soil. So I thank you so much for the warm hospitality that you have shown my work, because it is really yours, and you have allowed me to affix my signature to the bottom of the page.