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Boundaries are a defensive tool.
As you develop better boundaries, you have less need for anger. This is because in many cases anger was the only boundary you had.
Bye bye anger 👋👋
no one but God is totally indispensable.
Y E S
You own your boundaries. They don’t own you.
People who own their lives do not feel guilty when they make choices about where they are going.
Gossip gets between people. It affects our opinions of the people being gossiped about without their having a chance to defend themselves. Many times what we hear from a third person is inaccurate.
Mom, the gossip
find your boundary violations.
Dating is a way for adults to grow in various ways and to find out about each other’s suitability for marriage; it’s not a place for injured souls to find healing.
God intended the family to be an incubator in which we grow the maturity, tools, and abilities we need. Once the incubator has done its job, then it’s supposed to encourage the young adult to leave the nest and connect to the outside world (Gen. 2:24), to establish a spiritual and emotional family system on one’s own. The adult is free to do whatever God has designed for him
Over time we are to accomplish God’s purposes of spreading his love to the world, to make disciples of all the nations (Matt. 28:19–20). Staying emotionally locked into the family of origin frustrates this purpose.
Hence, this un-enmeshment of me
No one can become a truly biblical adult without setting some limits, leaving home, and cleaving somewhere else. Otherwise, we never know if we have forged our own values, beliefs, and convictions—our very identity—or if we are mimicking the ideas of our family.
Can family be friends? Absolutely. But if you have never questioned, set boundaries, or experienced conflict with your family members, you may not have an adult-to-adult connection with your family.
If you have no other “best friends” than your family, you need to take a close look at those relationships. You may be afraid of separating and indiv...
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Remember that a boundary always deals with yourself, not the other person. You are not demanding that your spouse do something—even respect your boundaries. You are setting boundaries to say what you will do or will not do. Only these kinds of boundaries are enforceable, for you do have control over yourself. Do not confuse boundaries with a new way to control a spouse. It is the opposite. It is giving up control and beginning to love. You are giving up trying to control your spouse and allowing him to take responsibility for his own behavior.
Boundaries need to be communicated first verbally and then with actions. They need to be clear and unapologetic.
Clear & Unapologetic
All of these boundaries need to be respected and revealed at different times in marriage.
Notes before marriage.
Setting people who have hurt you free from an old debt is to stop wanting something from them; it sets you free as well.
Chapter 10 Boundaries and Your Children
Boundaries and Yourself
internal boundary conflicts.
an important reality about healthy, fulfilled, happy people: they have something called “self-control.”
God desires our maturity and self-control even more than we do.
our boundary conflicts may not be all our fault. They are, however, our responsibility.
Only I am responsible for how I feel
(no one needs more than two parents)
😂 about enough
victims often feel that they are public property—that their resources, body, and time should be available to others just for the asking.
Nope. Not anymore tho
God as Redeemer: he finds, saves, and heals his loved ones who are lost and in bondage.
He
he asks for us to be tenacious. Often he says, “Wait,” seeing how much we really want something.
There is no unity without distinct identities, and boundaries define the distinct identities involved.
But if we do our work, and God does his, we will find strength in a real relationship with our Creator.
AllahuAkbar
Do not explain or justify. Only guilty children do that. This is only playing into their message. You do not owe guilt senders an explanation.
Guess I will read that book on Non-violent communication after all.
Be a listener, but don’t take the blame.
for the first time in his life, he was free.
Free. Free, free.. FREEEEEE
