Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

by Henry Cloud

“Look at it this way. It is as if he’s your neighbor, who never waters his lawn. But whenever you turn on your sprinkler system, the water falls on his lawn. Your grass is turning brown and dying, but Joshua looks down at his green grass and thinks to himself, My yard is doing fine. That is how your son’s life is. He doesn’t study or plan or work, yet he has a nice place to live, plenty of money, and all the rights of a family member who is doing his part. “If you would define the property lines a little better, if you would fix the sprinkler system so that the water would fall on your lawn, and if he didn’t water his own lawn, he would have to live in dirt. He might not like that after a while. “As it stands now, he is irresponsible and happy, and you are responsible and miserable. A little boundary clarification would do the trick.

Many people have been taught by their church or their family that boundaries are unbiblical, mean, or selfish. These people need good biblical support systems to help them stand against the guilt that comes from the old “tapes” inside that tell them lies to keep them in bondage.

God does not enable irresponsible behavior.

Hunger is a consequence of laziness (Prov. 16:26).