In part because if this writing were to become the principal means by which my children would come to know my innermost thoughts and feelings after my death, I wanted them to see my real self, a self that, in addition to experiencing many moments of joy, gratitude, and insight, was often tormented by fear, anger, hurt, despair, and darkness. I also made that promise because I disliked tremendously those bloggers who always presented in the face of a life-threatening illness images of pumped fists and unending positivity and determination.
