I tell myself that I am not afraid of dying, that I am so tired and in so much pain, I want to die at this point. Most of the time this is true, but I am not fully there yet. I haven’t found the peace I so desperately want, the kind of peace in which I would be okay with a bad scan, knowing that death is coming that much sooner. Peace is all I really want. The question is, How do I find it?
