Over the next decade or so, I worked, socialized, and had relationships and sex. I thought I would grow up and grow out of my “crazy” libido, that non-monogamy was perhaps a developmental stage for the twentysomething, and that once I was in my thirties, things would change. I would calm down and figure it all out, and life would get easier. It didn’t. When I was in a long-term relationship, the sexual spark died within a year or two, and I felt defective that it had happened—and that I cared enough about it to move on or look for other excitement. When I wasn’t in a relationship, I longed for
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