Like a Mother: A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy

by Angela Garbes

In the years after, states passed laws requiring that babies be delivered by a licensed medical doctor and banning the practice of lay midwifery. Especially impacted by these new regulations were granny midwives, African American women who had, for generations, attended the births of babies of all races throughout the South.

Sims developed his technique through years of surgical experimentation performed exclusively on a dozen enslaved women, without the use of anesthesia. Their owners brought these women to Sims, only three of whom—Anarcha, Betsey, and Lucy—were named in his records. Slaves were considered property and, as such, the women were never paid for their participation. Only after mastering his technique (he operated on Anarcha thirteen times) did Sims repair the fistulas of white women, all with anesthesia.6

Oster’s conclusions about the quantities of alcohol and caffeine that can be consumed safely in pregnancy—a couple of drinks a week in the first trimester, up to one a day in the second and third; three to four eight-ounce cups of coffee a day throughout pregnancy—are much less restrictive. Her book, published in 2013, sparked a lot of conversation. It is part of a growing number of evidence-based pregnancy resources that look critically at widely accepted data and advice, and

As a society, we tend to mark mental illness, just as we do addiction, with stigma, as a character flaw. In Lauren’s experience, mental disorders weren’t things people talked about openly, and this contributed to the severity of her illness as well as a delay in her getting treatment.

Weeks after talking to Kristen Swanson, I couldn’t stop thinking about something she said—that birth and life and death exist in women’s bodies simultaneously.

How do we measure our own self-worth when our new self is barely recognizable? We cannot use the same values that applied to our lives before we were parents—being an ever-present friend or tireless worker, being stylish or the life of a party—when it is hard to sleep, find pants that fit, leave the house.

Abbie looked at me, tears welling in her eyes, and spoke with a clarity that shook me and will stay with me forever: “For the most part, I’m fine. I’m happy. But every day around five, I get overwhelmed. It’s hard. It feels like I am falling in love and getting my heart broken at the same time.”

We are still at a point where we lack stories—diverse stories—about pregnancy and motherhood. Only if we tell and hear these stories do we have a chance at understanding the experience, of making progress. Only if we see these stories as inherently valuable will we appreciate women as we should. Only then will we have the chance of creating a society that listens to, champions, and supports us for the marvelously strong and vulnerable beings that we are.