Look Alive Twenty-Five (Stephanie Plum, #25)

by Janet Evanovich

“All us good citizens in Jersey got attitude. We got pride. We got brass balls the size of watermelons. We got rude hand gestures and loaded guns . . . most of us. It’s not like we’re a pushover state like California. If you want to make points and get extra virgins when you blow yourself up, clearly Jersey is the place to accomplish that, you see what I’m saying? It’s not like we’re easy.”

“I’m not fat,” Lula said, “I’m excessively proportioned. It goes with my extra-large personality. Do you know where we can find Victor?”

A gift card says I feel obligated to get you something, but I don’t care enough to put any effort into finding just the right gift.

My favored exercise was walking the length of the mall to get to Cinnabon.

Once again, the key to true happiness is lowered expectations.