Look Alive Twenty-Five (Stephanie Plum, #25)

by Janet Evanovich

“I’m totally freaked. I need tranqs or a burrito or something.”

That’s the good thing about having a hamster as a roommate. They’re not judgmental as long as you give them an occasional peanut.

“He is a little hallucinogenic. There was a moment when he was talking to his chef’s knife, and I became concerned, so I bribed him into the pantry with a jar of mayonnaise, and then I locked the door.”

God don’t like bingo cheats and sluts.”

“Sorry I’m late,” he said. “I had a hard time convincing myself to come to work.”

“I have to give you points,” I said to Ranger. “You kept a straight face through the whole seed-spreading conversation.”