Look Alive Twenty-Five (Stephanie Plum, #25)

by Janet Evanovich

“I’m not fat,” Lula said, “I’m excessively proportioned. It goes with my extra-large personality.

Lula had decided to wear her ’ho leathers as an accompaniment to her massive magenta hair. She was stuffed into over-the-knee black stiletto-heeled boots, a tight black leather skirt that barely covered her hoo-ha, and a black leather bustier that was struggling to contain her triple-D boobs. When she stood next to Hal in his Rangeman uniform they looked like they were working the lunch shift for S&M Deli.

“He is a little hallucinogenic. There was a moment when he was talking to his chef’s knife, and I became concerned, so I bribed him into the pantry with a jar of mayonnaise, and then I locked the door.” “Is he in there with the knife?” “No. I confiscated the knife. He and the knife appeared to be having a disagreement.”