Am I There Yet?: The Loop-de-loop, Zigzagging Journey to Adulthood

by Mari Andrew

I’ve decided a tombstone that reads “Here lies Mari: She enjoyed herself” would be an extraordinarily fortunate accomplishment. From now on, my life lived will be my life’s work.

didn’t feel like I could just begin a new hobby at this stage without a guaranteed résumé line implying that it may be my purpose.

“I didn’t put a pen to a paper because I thought it would turn into my job,” she replied. “I’m not even very good! I just always liked it.”

This is the bonus of a good date: you find things you love about yourself when you’re impressing someone else. Falling in love with someone else is a little bit about falling for yourself.

People are so uncomfortable with the lack of a point to life that almost every religion has a belief in a higher plan for each person’s existence.

Even people who eschew religion may instead put their faith in astrology or the universe, attempting to make sense of rejection as something that “wasn’t meant to be,” and something that paves the way for “something better to take its place.” It’s a comforting thought until you get tied up in the logic that the universe’s plan has failed plenty of people.

After becoming an artist and acknowledging that I’d become an artist, I wanted to enjoy the feeling of being an artist, which for me meant hobnobbing with free spirits and sketching in charming cafés and cave bars.

I quickly learned that choice is a luxury, and is largely responsible for pleasure. Half the enjoyment of putting on perfume is the decision to do so, and the decisions of which one, where, and how much.

All this growth made me feel worthy of a new kind of romantic love—one in which I was far less concerned about whether I was worthy of a man and much more interested in his worthiness of me.

month later, when she heard through a mutual friend about my apartment fire, she sent me flowers and homemade brownies. It meant the world to me. She probably hesitated, thought, This might be weird since we don’t really know each other, but she still made an extraordinarily kind gesture. I will never forget it. It made me want to be a bolder friend and a more generous acquaintance.

Lesson: It’s never wrong to do something kind.

Show up with stories to tell. Your whole life prepares you for the big moments, so go in confidently knowing you have years of experience to your name.

The great gift of heartbreak, rejection, loss—of any challenge—is that it’s the impetus to stop hoping you’ll be happy someday and start making yourself happy now. Making yourself into an adult is this ongoing process of transforming your life experience into the person you’ve chosen to be.