Am I There Yet?: The Loop-de-loop, Zigzagging Journey to Adulthood

by Mari Andrew

When I entered my twenties, an older friend told me it was my time to explore. I had ten whole years just to grow and experiment and push my limits. “If you stumble,” she said, “that’s a great sign. It means you found your edge. You tried something that didn’t work, and now you know.”

I realized I had a choice: to be in this moment either as a visitor or as an inhabitant.

I said no to many alternate lives. I don’t obsess over them, but I do think about them from time to time. In fact, some day I would like to check in on these lives, then contentedly go back to my true life and enjoy all of it in its imperfect, surprising splendor.

What I love most about living isn’t accomplishing things, but experiencing them.

Nostalgia gets pretty close, but saudade is more complicated. It’s the remnant of gratitude and bliss that something happened, but the simultaneous devastation that it has gone and will never happen again.

Acceptance is not a relief; it’s the realization that you will always carry grief with you.

Show up with stories to tell. Your whole life prepares you for the big moments, so go in confidently knowing you have years of experience to your name.