Hate Notes

by Vi Keeland

“When God was making the mold for good-looking men, he asked one of his angels what else he should add to make a man more attractive in her eyes. The angel didn’t want to be disrespectful by using foul language, so she simply said, ‘Give him a big stick.’ Unfortunately, the added piece was put on backward, and now all good-looking men are born with a large stick up their tuchus.”

“My grandmother always said a lady gave an angel’s smile and kept her devilish thoughts to herself.”

take some advice from an old man who has learned from more mistakes than you even realize you’re capable of making yet. One man’s overlooked blessing is soon another man’s gain.”

She turned around and smoothed out her dress. “How do I look?” How do you look? You look like you’re mine.

The two of you fight like an old married couple, flirt like you’re in high school, and confide in each other like you’re lifelong best friends.

“Tonight . . . tonight you’re fucking mine.”

But I like to think that maybe heaven is a better place than here and death isn’t always a punishment, but sometimes it’s a reward to put people out of their pain.”

want to say one more thing.” She paused. “I think it’s better to spend years treasuring a memory that might hurt sometimes than to never make one at all.”

From the desk of Reed Eastwood

To my one true love and soulmate, Charlotte, I don’t need the help of a poet to articulate my love for you. But to try to reduce it to a couple of sentences could never do my feelings justice. Even my wildest dreams could never have conjured up the level of love in my heart today. You’re beyond my wildest dreams. My love for you is infinite. You. Are. Everything. Your love, Reed