Pride

by Ibi Zoboi

IT’S A TRUTH universally acknowledged that when rich people move into the hood, where it’s a little bit broken and a little bit forgotten, the first thing they want to do is clean it up. But it’s not just the junky stuff they’ll get rid of. People can be thrown

away too, like last night’s trash left out on sidewalks or pushed to the edge of wherever all broken things go. What those rich people don’t always know is that broken and forgotten neighborhoods were first built out of love.

My big sister, Janae, is coming home from her first year of college, after finishing up a school internship, and she’ll be spending the rest of her summer break with me.

I fluff up my thick, kinky fro and throw on an old pair of jean shorts.

Mama has joked that my curves have f...

in at seventeen—not that I was waiting for them. The Haitian-Domi...

my younger sisters, Marisol, Layla, and Kayla,

my sisters’ constant cackling—and Mama’s too. She’s the loudest of them all, and she can be the most embarrassing. Me, Papi, and Janae are the quiet ones in my family.

Marisol, who’s two years younger,

Me and my money-hungry sister, aka Money Love Mari,

Stepping out of the back of the car are two of the finest boys we’ve ever seen. Fine, black teenage boys.

Papi reads as if the world is running out of books. Sometimes he’s more interested in stories and history than people.

“Darius.”

“I’m Ainsley,”

Ainsley has already stolen Janae’s attention. Her eyes are glued on him, and I know that in less than a second, she’s taken in his whole swag—haircut, face, body,

clothes, smile, and even his teeth. I don’t blame her.

“That’s our big sister, Janae Lise Benitez!”

Nae-nae never tried to take our mother’s place, though. She was simply our big sister—two years older than

me, and six years older than the twins. She did our hair, helped pick out our outfits, gave us advice but still let us make decisions for ourselves. She was the sticky sweetness that held us all together.

Madrina, the owner of our building, who lets us rent for mad cheap,

Even though I’m planning to leave home for college, I know all that music will still be here, waiting for me, when I get back.

“Look at your father’s face, girls! He don’t want you to date. He wants you all to stay right under him until each one of you is old and gray like me.” “Not if I have anything to do with it,” Mama says. She always tries to one-up Madrina by shouting even louder. But she doesn’t have the same depth in her voice, so she’s just loud. “I won’t

mind at all if my daughters are playas. Have fun, date around, see what’s out there. Don’t tie yourselves down like I did.

After college, she’s getting a teaching job and her own apartment in Bushwick. And I’m going to Howard University and will live on campus in my own dorm room where I can stretch out my arms and legs and not have to hit a little sister in the head while doing so.

After I graduate, I’ll get a job and my own apartment here too. None of those scenarios involve a boyfriend or a husband.

“My baby,” Mama says, smiling and cocking her head to the side. “She spends one year at college

and she thinks she knows everything.” Janae’s face drops, and I can tell that stung her a bit. My big sister is carrying the whole intellectual weight of the family now that she’s the first one to go to a four-year college. Mama had Janae while she was a teenager herself and only went for a couple of semesters before dropping out when she got pregnant with me. Papi did two years at a community college

We’ve known Colin all our lives because he’s Madrina’s nephew.

Every book is a different

Reading is how I visit places and people and ideas. And when something rings true or if I still have a question, I outline it with a bright yellow highlighter so that it’s lit up in my mind, like a lightbulb or a torch leading the way to somewhere new.

“Z?” Janae says without looking at me. “Yeah?” “Do you think I have a chance?” “With who?” I ask. “Ainsley,” she says, her voice soft. “Shit” is all I say.

Dominican Day parade with Papi and the Puerto Rican Day parade with Madrina, and repping the Haitian flag at the West Indian Day parade with Mama.

Charlise is a baller who’s been accepted to Duke on a basketball scholarship.

“Excuse me?” Darius says, eyebrows raised. “You’re excused,” I say, side-eyeing him.

🤣🤣🤣

If Janae is the sticky sweetness keeping us sisters together, then I’m the hard candy shell, the protector.

If anyone wants to get to the

Benitez sisters, they’ll have to crack open ...

Crack my heart open with your bear hands watch me bleed #tonightalive

Anybody who’s been in Bushwick long enough is

like a musician, and when they leave, we lose a sound.

“Carrie. I go to school with Darius,” she says. I glance at Darius without even looking at this girl Carrie, and I immediately know that this little exchange is code for “Don’t take my boyfriend.”

As Janae walks out, I catch Ainsley gently taking her hand, then letting it go. Janae smiles, and this whole moment settles in my belly like a piece of boiled batata. I can’t let her come here again.

Ok why does Zuri care so much if Janae has a little fling with Ainsley? It’s not that serious. Leave her alone.

“I keep hearing Janae’s name. Why you so worried about your big sister? It’s her life.” I exhale and let myself sink into the chair a little bit. Madrina has disarmed me. “I don’t want Janae to change,” I say real quiet.

Jaime Grisham of Bushwick Riot. They’re my sister’s favorite band.

“You want me to be a rapper while you’re a baller so we could be a dynamic duo stereotype?”

I turn and pop my eyes out at her, but Charlise just stares at Colin, smiling. And when he leaves our front stoop and walks down the block with a little bop to his step while looking back at Charlise, I say, “I know you’re not that thirsty.”

Charlotte and Mr. Collins lmaooo

If we treat guys the way they treat us, then we’ll get a bad reputation? That’s messed up.”

cocktail dress

pastelitos.

griot—Haitian fried pork.

Darius is whispering something into his ear, and Ainsley’s face changes.