True love is built on trust, but engagement is built on secrets. Especially when it comes to the ring. Once it’s in your possession, you must do everything short of a presidential motorcade to protect it. Put it in a condom and swallow it, then poop it out at a romantic moment. Have it surgically implanted. Bake it into a loaf of pumpernickel bread that she won’t go near cuz she’s “gluten-sensitive.”
