and intimate relational communion. Needing to use fantasy during sex. If we have to fantasize in order to have “good” sex, we’re then not so much interested in sex as we are in generating mind games that mostly aim to maximize erotic sensation. It’s easy to normalize sexual fantasies that aren’t really expressions of our sexuality but rather expressions of our unresolved wounding. When we’re caught up in fantasy during sex, we maroon ourselves from intimate connection. And when we strip such fantasies of their erotic elements, the storyline that remains features the psychological and emotional
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