Self-sabotage. This shows up as procrastination, martyrdom, settling for crumbs, and so on, in the midst of which we play victim, “trying” to make things better but only continuing to derail ourselves. When we’re obstructing ourselves, it may look as if we’re just being unfairly treated, as if we’re a victim of forces beyond our control. The payoff is that we get to avoid taking responsibility for what we’re doing to ourselves. Slipping into guilt and its self-punishing rituals is our common reaction to our self-sabotage, but such practice is just more avoidance of being accountable. What’s in
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