An exaggerated need to please or to be liked. This need stems from a childhood history of things going badly when we were ourselves, but less badly when we behaved in ways that were pleasing or otherwise acceptable to those who held power over us. Wanting to be liked is rooted in wanting to be accepted; if we had an early history of not being accepted—and I speak here not only of our behavior but also of our very being—we’ll attach excessive importance to being liked. What’s in our shadow here is our self-acceptance, along with our anger.
