More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
I wanted him to take the initiative in building up this relationship. Too often, this is done for a child by some eager adult.
A child is only confused by questions that have been answered by someone else before he is asked.
he would have to take a few steps of his own for it.
The value of any successful therapeutic experience, in my opinion, depends upon the balance that is maintained between what the individual brings into the sessions and what he takes out. If the therapy becomes the predominant and controlling influence in the individual’s daily life, then I would have serious doubts as to its effectiveness.
his intellectual abilities were the only part of him that was valued by others.
Besides, it was evident that intellectual achievement without the attendant emotional and social maturity was not enough.
The child must first learn self-respect and a sense of dignity that grows out of his increasing self-understanding before he can learn to respect the personalities and rights and differences of others.
This was purposely avoided because it seemed important for Dibs, as all children, to learn by experience that no part of his world is static and controllable.
symbols, I hoped that he could experience within himself confidence and adequacy as he coped now with his disappointment and with the realization that things outside ourselves change — and many times we have little control over those elements, but if we learn to utilize our inner resources, we carry our security around with us.
He erected the cardboard fence around the animals. “I’ll make a door in the fence,” he announced, cutting the fence, bending back part of it to make an open gate. “That’s so the animals can always get out, whenever they want to.”
“It is a joy I would not want to lose,” he replied. “I come with gladness into this room.”
Sometimes it is very difficult to keep firmly in mind the fact that the parents, too, have reasons for what they do — have reasons, locked in the depths of their personalities, for their inability to love, to understand, to give of themselves to their children.
“Two frightened, lonely, unhappy people with their defenses crumpled and deserted... a relief to know that we could be human, and could fail and admit that we had failed.”
“The sun shines,”
This bit of evidence indicates how aware children are of the things around them, even though they may make no comment at the time — true of Dibs and of all children.
guess I am sure. Okay. I’ll go, now. And I just hope that doctor sticks his needle in Dorothy and I hope he hurts her until she screams and screams. And inside me I’ll laugh and be glad she feels the hurt. And I’ll pretend like it doesn’t bother me at all. Goodbye. I’ll see you next Thursday.”
“Just trying to get to the top of the hill made them happy?” I asked. “Yes,” Dibs said. “It’s like that with hills. Did you ever climb a hill?” “Yes. And you, Dibs?” I asked.
“They can disturb,” he said. “We are gone.”
For I have roots that tie me to the earth and I must stand forever here.’
“I’m in no hurry,” he said. “For now, I’ll just be!”
All things are blue If you make them blue.
“I should have been more careful, but I am not stupid.”
With love. Me.
His sensitive armor was ready to put on quickly when his feelings were hurt.
Grandmother has always loved me. But not Papa. Papa has not always loved me.”
When a child is forced to prove himself as capable, results are often disastrous. A child needs love, acceptance, and understanding. He is devastated when confronted with rejection, doubts, and never-ending testing.
Sersahin bana yaptigi sey
“As you said you wanted it. As I said I wanted it. As we said we wanted it.”
“Bury things. Bury things. Bury things. Then dig them up again, if you feel like it,”
I remember you often said the important things are what we remember after we have forgotten everything else.
