Dibs: In Search of Self

by Virginia M. Axline

“Hello, you,” he said. “Hello, Dibs.” “I know who you are,” he said. “You do?” “Oh, yes! You are the lady of the wonderful playroom,” he said. “You are Miss A.”

We sat down on the front steps of an apartment house along the way to talk. “Yes,” I said. “And you are Dibs.”

“I’m grown up now,” he said. “But I do remember when I was very, very small and first came to see you. I remember the toys, the doll house and the sand and the men and women and children in the world I built. I remember the bells and the time to go and the truck. I remember the water and the paint and the dishes. I remember our office and our books and our recording machine. I remember all the people. And I remember how you played with me.” “What did we play, Dibs?” Dibs leaned toward me. His eyes were shining. “Everything I did, you did,” he whispered. “Everything I said, you said.” “So that’s the way it was!” I said. “Yes. ‘This is your room, Dibs,’ you said to me. ‘This is all for you. Have fun, Dibs. Have fun. Nobody is going to hurt you. Have fun.’” Dibs sighed. “And I did have fun. I had the most wonderful time in my life. I built my world with you in the playroom. Remember?”

“Yes, Dibs. I remember.” “And the last time I saw you there in the playroom was two years, six months, and four days come Thursday. I remember it very well. I took that last-day sheet out of my calendar and I put a big red circle around it with red crayon. I framed it and it hangs on the wall in my room. Just the other day I happened to look at it and checked how long ago it was. Two years, six months, four days come Thursday.”

“So that day seemed very important to you,” I commented. “And you circled it and framed it. Why did you do that, Dibs?” “I don’t know,” Dibs said. “I wouldn’t ever have forgotten it. I have thought about it many times.” There was a long pause. Dibs looked steadily at me. He sighed deeply. “At first the playroom seemed so very, very big. And the toys were not friendly. And I was so afraid.” “You were afraid in there, Dibs?” “Yes.” “Why were you afraid?” “I don’t know. I was frightened at first because I didn’t know what you would do

and I didn’t know what I would do. But you just said ‘This is all yours, Dibs. Have fun. Nobody is going to hurt you in here.’” “I said that?” “Yes,” Dibs said decisively. “That is what you said to me. And gradually I came to believe you. And it was that way. You said for me to go fight my enemies until they cried out and said they were sorry they hurt me.” “And did you do that?” “Yes. I found out my enemies and I fought them. But then I found out that I was not afraid anymore. I found out that I am not unhappy when I feel love. Now I am big and strong and not afraid. And I remember the church that last come-back day. I remember discovering how big God was. The door was so very high. And the ceiling was way up there, almost touching heaven. And when the music started to play all of a sudden, I shivered. I wanted to get out and I wanted to stay. And I went past there the other day. I went up all the steps to the door. The door was closed. I knocked on the door and I called through the keyhole. ‘Is anyone home

today?’ But I guess not because nobody came and so I went away.” I could just visualize Dibs walking up the steps of the church and knocking timidly on that massive carved door. Suddenly he jumped up. “Come see my yard,” he cried. “It’s a very, very big yard and it’s got lots and lots of plants and shrubs in it. Guess how many?” “Oh,” I said. “Twenty-seven different kinds?” “Yes,” Dibs shouted. “But how did you know? I counted them for over two weeks before I knew. Have you ever been in my yard?” “No. I have not been in your yard,” I replied. “Then how did you know? How did you know? You tell me how you knew!” “You don’t think I could know unless I went in and counted them?” “But,” said Dibs, exas...

down the name and location of each plant. It is not a quick and simple thing to do. It is not something you can just guess. And if you were never in my yard and never did all this, then how on earth do you kno...

“The other day I was sitting in my apartment reading by the open window and I heard you tell Peter, ‘There are twenty-seven different plants and shrubs in my yard.’ It was the day you gave him the first worm up for spring.”

“Oh!” Dibs exclaimed. “Because you live nearby. Why Miss A, now we are neighbors!” “Yes. We are neighbors.” “This is good,” Dibs said. “Well, then, so you come now and see my garden.” We went into Dibs’ yard and he pointed out the twenty-seven different varieties.

A few days later I met his mother and father on the street. We exchanged greetings and his mother and father both thanked me again for the help I had given them. They said that Dibs had continued to make amazing progress, that he was a well-adjusted, happy child, that he was getting

along satisfactorily with other children. He was now enrolled in a school for gifted children and was doing very well.

“Dibs,” his mother called. “Dibs, come see who is here. Do you remember this lady?” Dibs ran up and grinned. “Hello,” he shouted. “Hello, Dibs,” I said. “Your mother asked you a question, Dibs,” said Papa. “Yes, Papa, I heard her,” said Dibs. “She asked me if I knew the lady. Of course, I know the lady. She is my very first friend.”

“Well, if you heard your mother, why didn’t you answer her?” “I’m sorry, Papa,” said Dibs. There was a twinkle in his eye. “Very nice to have seen you again,” “Papa” said to me. “Sorry, but I must go now.” He started out toward his car.

“You and Mom are a bit full of burrs above your ears because I met Miss A five days ago!”

“Miss A. Miss A. A special name for a special friend,” he shouted. He tore down the street, making a noise like a fire engine. Yes, Dibs had changed. He had learned how to be himself, to believe in himself, to free himself. Now he was relaxed and happy. He was able to be a child.

Note

We are all personalities that grow and develop as a result of all our experiences, relationships, thoughts, and emotions. We are the sum total of all the parts that go into the making of a life.

Dibs has become a symbol to us of all the values — the human values we try so hard to hold onto. And as the other fellow said, ‘With Dibs here, we can’t lose.’

what a real dynamic power he was — how he had become a part of me.

Dibs is the only real person I ever met in a classroom who could teach me what it means to be a complete person

As I said I wanted it. As you said you wanted it. As we said we wanted it. I guess Dibs only wanted what we all want on a world-wide scale. A chance to feel worth while. A chance to be a person wanted,

respected, accepted as a human being worthy of dignity.”

There are

things far more important in this world than a show of authority and power, more important than revenge and punishment and hurt. As educators, you must unlock the door of ignorance and prejudice and meanness.

“With sincerity and intent to act, I am,

Sincerely yours, Dibs”

“He is a brilliant boy. Full of ideas. Concerned about everybody and everything. Very sensitive. A real leader. I thought you would enjoy this outraged outburst. And he acts on the things he believes in. The school wouldn’t want to lose him. They will probably follow his suggestion.”

I.Q. of 168.