Dibs: In Search of Self

by Virginia M. Axline

We must avoid clichés, quick, ready-made interpretations and explanations.

But we are not looking for a miracle. We are seeking understanding,

The inquiry goes on and on and we will continue to seek a way out of the wilderness of our ignorance.

Each time he named an object I made an attempt to communicate my recognition of his spoken word. I would say, “Yes. That is a bed,” or, “I think it is a dresser,” or “It does look like a rabbit.” I tried to keep my response brief, in line with what he said, and with enough variation to avoid monotony.

I didn’t prod him on. If he wanted to sit there in silence, then we would

I didn’t ask him if he would like to come back again. He might not want to commit himself.

If a child’s play is his natural way of expressing himself, why should we cast it in a rigid mold of a stereotyped response?

attempted to keep my comments in line with his activity, trying not to say anything that would indicate any desire on my part that he do any particular thing, but rather to communicate, understandingly and simply, recognition in line with his frame of reference.

I wanted him to lead the way. I would follow. I wanted to let him know from the beginning

Any exclamation of surprise or praise might be interpreted by him as the direction he must take. It might close off any other areas of exploration that might be far more important for him.

“I know you really would like to stay,” I said. “But your time for today is up and you will have to go.

“You want to give me that, do you?” I said, gesturing toward his painting. He nodded. The purpose of this response, rather than an expression of thank you’s and praise, was to keep our communication open and to slow it down. Then, if he wanted to, he could add more of his thoughts and feelings and not be abruptly cut off by my response

The value of any successful therapeutic experience, in my opinion, depends upon the balance that is maintained between what the individual brings into the sessions and what he takes out. If the therapy becomes the predominant and controlling influence in the individual’s daily life, then I would have serious doubts as to its effectiveness.

I was interested in the manner in which Dibs had been displaying his ability to read, count, solve problems. It seemed to me that whenever he approached any kind of emotional reference he retreated to a demonstration of his ability to read.

“I am thinking,” he said. “You are?” I replied. “Yes. I am thinking.” I did not press him to tell me what he was thinking.

The child must first learn self-respect and a sense of dignity that grows out of his increasing self-understanding before he can learn to respect the personalities and rights and differences of others.

“The caged rabbit,” Dibs corrected. “But sometimes we let it out. And sometimes, when nobody is looking, I let it out.”

He walked over to the doll house. “I’ll lock it up,” he said. “I’ll lock the door and I’ll close all the windows.”

“Why, Dibs?” I asked. “Why do you want to lock the door and close the windows?” “I don’t know,” Dibs muttered.

“Yes. Even if I know you don’t feel like going home, there are times, Dibs, when you have to. And this is one of those times.”

“They don’t always do what they say,” he said. “You feel that sometimes you expect something to happen and you are disappointed?” I asked. “Yes,” he replied. “It can happen.