Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach

by Jennifer Easley

All too often, these children may reject ordinary positive comments because inside, they are doubtful at their very core that anything positive about themselves could possibly be true.

For the difficult child—who is literally addicted to negative reaction— lectures, warnings, and reprimands are actually rewards of our attention and energy.

hold in your awareness the image of that baby taking its first steps. Try to recall how that baby can really do no wrong: no strict expectations, just joy and awe in the moment; no bar held high, just a highly attentive, heart-open state where every tiny increment in the right direction is something to recognize, appreciate, acknowledge and celebrate.

We typically attempt to give a lesson on responsibility or self-control when the child is not using responsibility or self-control.

We are never too busy for a child who is acting-out.

They’re already overwhelmed by their intensity and they certainly do not need to have their emotions explored or mobilized. They do, however, need to be reassured that their emotions are okay and that they are capable of handling them.

Children can withstand the pressures exerted by peers when they begin to trust who they are and when they feel truly stronger on the inside.

Most people go a lifetime without ever being told how great they are or telling themselves about their greatness.

We have such a lively ability to notice and wax poetically about even tiny increments of what is wrong, but can barely muster an under-energized “good job” for ourselves when it comes to something positive.