Drakon: Butterfly (Drakon, #4)

by C.A. Caskabel

But before I begin my Story, there is still one thing I want to ask, Evagus, Eusebius and all the rest of you: Do you still believe? I read all those scrolls that Rufinus rushes to save now. Scrolls about gods and our debt to them, demons, sorcerers, about revenge, repentance, and forgiveness. Why are your gods so furious with us? From the moment we’re born, they just can’t swallow the fact that we dare to walk the earth freely under their sun. The only thing they care about is that we repent and fall to our hands and knees and ask for their forgiveness, drowned in the blood of our love. Do they laugh with us up there? Can you bear to listen to this chapter? And still believe when I finish? But you won’t answer me. You’re only interested in my punishment, the price that the infidel pays.

“Did he really let you go?” “Malan? Yes. What darker revenge could he have dreamed? I swear that he looked sad as I approached him and offered him the wine. The greatest man I’d ever known. The greatest monster. Uncarved together, since children. What cruel revenge could he inflict upon me other than that I’m still alive? Kill me? Pity not the dead for they sleep peacefully in the pyre. Have you ever seen a dead man get up and scream? As I do every night? Because I wake up every night. And I must wake up every morning. I don’t even have the strength to cut my hands off at the wrist. Because it would be weakness, not strength. Because I don’t deserve such peace. Do you know why I decided to stay here all those years? Because it is the worst punishment I can inflict upon myself. There is nothing to do in this desolate rock of salt and stone. No one to love, no one to fight, no horse to ride. There is only one thing to do. Suffer. Suffer the remembrance of the past. That’s the only thing I deserve.”