We're All Damaged

by Matthew Norman

We were never the kind of couple that feeds each other. Maybe that’s the ultimate litmus test for marital stability. Maybe all those horrible idiots you see sensually feeding each other in public are doing it right, and the rest of us are all doomed to studio apartments and eHarmony.

“There are two types of guys in this world,” she says. “Guys who know that ‘So It Goes’ is a Kurt Vonnegut reference, and guys who I want absolutely nothing to do with. I’m glad you’re one of the first ones.”

Eating with children at a restaurant is like eating with a live grenade. It’s going to explode every time. You just don’t know when.”