We're All Damaged

by Matthew Norman

Significant things shouldn’t begin or end at Applebee’s.

So, on behalf of bitches and hos everywhere, my sincere apologies.”

The lesson here . . . Sometimes people throw things away. That doesn’t mean those things aren’t really, really good. Most of the time, it just means that person didn’t know what they had.”

All girls like scruffy—it’s wired into our DNA. Cavewoman stuff.

“Do you ever stop talking?” I say. “Seriously, it’s like you have a superarticulate form of Tourette syndrome.”

children. She was the girl who loved me even though I’m short and kind of goofy-looking and

In your whole life, Andy, have you ever heard an interesting story that starts in an Applebee’s?”

“It doesn’t matter. Marriage isn’t about agreeing. It’s about staying.