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“we have to talk...
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“T...
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I step back. I step back again. Each step away from her perky tits with their firm little nipples is kill...
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“T...
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I con...
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“I almost said no, Zenny, and the only reason I can say yes is because I promised myself I’d do this right. S...
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She nods. I don’t miss the little squirm she makes in her chair though, like she’s trying to relieve an ache between her thighs, and I almost run back over there and relieve it for her. Just two fingers would be all I need, right down the front of her jeans. Two fingers and two minutes, and I’d...
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“So is this going to be like a business...
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Zenny...
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“We hammer out the fi...
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I pick up the rolling pin again, mostly to give my hands something to do other than rub Zenny’s cunt until she gasps out my name (although I do distantly remember that dinner is s...
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“A business negotiation was my fi...
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I admit to her, rolling the piecrust dough. The way her eyes watch my forearms as I work the rolling pin and the dough is ...
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“But the thing is that business negotiations are kind of shitty, when you think about it. It’s all about what you can get from the other person while keeping what you want to keep. ...
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That seems to touch something inside her thoughts because she looks up at me and there’s trust shimmering in her eyes while the rest of her face goes slightly guarded. Her contradictions—trust and armor, bold and shy—they’re like catnip to me, yanking at parts of my mind that I didn’t even know I had. Pu...
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“So not a business ...
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she ...
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“...
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I roll the piecrust over the rolling pin and it promptly tears in half, which makes Zenny laugh. I give her a playful glare as I try to arran...
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“No business meeting. How about a palliative care app...
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She tilts her head a little, waiting for me to elabo...
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“Obviously, we’re not here because we’re dying, but when my mom went to visit her doctor, the way they...
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Vegetables finally roasted, I set the dough-lined casserole aside and start mixi...
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“I thought Mom would go in and they’d have this transaction about pain levels and side effects and stuff like that, but instead, they talked about Mom’s goals and priorities. What was important ...
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I pour the filling into the casserole, top it with the maybe-underfolded puff pastry, and slide it into the oven. Then I face Ze...
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“Was it hard for you to l...
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she ...
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“Your mom talking about h...
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I can still remember the doctor’s office—not an appointment room but a true office, lined with books and pictures of his family. I just don’t want to be in pain, Mom had said, her voice crackin...
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“...
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I an...
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“It was hard. But worthwhile. And I promise I didn’t mean to derail the conversation into sad cancer talk, because this is ...
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“So which one of us is the doctor and which one of us...
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I start cleaning off my counte...
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“I think we’re each both. Both things at once. We need to figure out what’s important to each of us, what our priorities are. And also we need to talk about boundaries—what we won’t do and we won’t give up—and also all the practical stuff, mechanics and schedules—all of it. It’s going to be awkward and feel kind of intimate for two people who don’t know each other very well, just like with the palli...
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“O...
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She gives a nod of approval, which is belied by how hard she’s chewing on t...
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“You go f...
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“Me first....
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I look at her, my hands still scrubbing a...
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“Keeping you safe is the most important...
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I...
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“I promised your brother I would, and beyond that, I…I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you. I can’t deny that I want this—and I want you—but it can’...
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A pause. Her eyes glued to mine, her pulse jump...
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“O...
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she finally w...
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“Zenny, I need to know as we move forward…are...
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She blinks up at the...
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“Sort...
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I finish cleaning, toss the sponge into the sink, and lean forward onto the granite, br...
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