I lay back and I stared at my ceiling, letting myself think about what my life had become, but only for a short minute. The key was never to focus on it for too long. I had to forget, and drinking, dancing and partying, was the only way I could do it. If I stopped twirling, stopped tipping back glass after glass, I risked stopping long enough to think about what I was doing. And that was the last thing I wanted to do.
