I’d seen videos of these things online. That was why I’d come, after all. But it’s different when you’re standing in the middle of it all with your own body, your pulse and your head not working, and hands you don’t know what to do with. And you want to do something, anything, but you just don’t know what. Your soul gets diluted; you feel like a nobody. I’d lost sight of Abu Saad. I stood there feeling useless. I’d traveled the whole way to Syria to help people, but when I was actually needed, I had nothing to give. I felt dizzy, sat down on the curb, clenched my teeth, and cried.
