Is it cynical and distasteful and just plain wrong to suggest that a good, healthy relationship might feature a fairly steady diet of both partners manipulating each other? Not at all. We manipulate our children all the time—promising them rewards if they win the “quiet game” by going the whole car ride home without talking; telling them that maybe Santa will bring whatever stupid piece of plastic crap they’re clamoring for in the store so we can get out of there without having to debate the matter—and it would be ridiculous to suggest that in doing so, we somehow don’t love them with all our
...more
